From the previous articles, we have learned that human beings are souls and are here to evolve. Evolution requires time, process, and a lot of mistakes.
Evolution is a practice of learning, purification, and growing to be wiser and more practical.
By living in pain and resentment, nothing will happen - We will be stuck in the mud of lower human qualities. Now, the question is how to forgive and let go.
I believe forgiveness is not only one of the most difficult lessons that the soul needs to learn, but art to act accordingly in compassion and mercy while we are hurt. Imagine someone hurting you so badly and being able to have inner peace; you need to forgive them. How difficult is that? Indeed, very difficult.
To learn how to forgive, one must first learn what forgiveness is not.
Here are a few listings:
Forgiveness is not forgetting: Many people think they need to forget who has hurt them. Oftentimes people told me, “I would like to forget, but I can’t”. And my answer is, you can’t forget the past; it is a part of your life, but forgive and forget the pain.
Forgiveness does not mean accepting the person in your life: You can forgive and let go, and you are not obliged to be with the person for the rest of your life.
Forgiveness does not mean you must like/ love them again: You can forgive and lose interest in the person as well.
Forgiveness does not mean you need to tell them you have forgiven them: You can internally forgive without them knowing.
“There are both Inner Forgiveness and Outer Forgiveness. Inner forgiveness is for all people, but Outer Forgiveness should be done on a case-to-case basis, depending on the seriousness of the mistake or offense where the offender cannot be forgiven externally. There has to be Justice and Order without more chaos.” - Grand Master Choa Kok Sui.
Forgiveness is not for them; By forgiving others, you are not doing a favor to other people, but yourselves.
If forgiveness is something you do for yourself to be healed, why is it so difficult? It is difficult because either you are addicted to the adrenaline that anger provides, or you feel superior being begged to forgive, or you are waiting for karma to revenge them so you can enjoy seeing them hurt, or you enjoy being a victim so people can have empathy on you. Or you afraid to forgive them, so they might leave or get connected to you. Or you don’t know how to forgive.
Forgiveness can’t be forced: Sometimes, other people ask you to forgive to solve a conflict. But, no. that’s not how it’s done. Forgiveness can’t be forced or pushed. It needs willingness. It means you need to reach that level of awareness and realization that holding to anger is not serving you anymore. When you have reached that level, then you are ready physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually to let go.
“By Forgiving and Blessing, you stop wallowing in mud, and you achieve Inner Peace and Freedom.” - Grand Master Choa Kok Sui.
So how do you do that?
Seat in a quiet and comfortable place and close your eyes.
Inhale slowly and deeply, exhale slowly and deeply. Do it several times till you feel relaxed and grounded.
Visualize the person whom you would like to forgive Infront of you. Look deeply into their eyes. Allow yourself to feel what comes out. If you feel angry, allow yourself to feel angry. If you feel regret, it will enable it to sink in deep. If you feel mad, be mad. If you feel stupid, sad, or loved, allow yourself to get in that state. If you feel like crying, do it. Every feeling is valuable. They carry a certain energy. Just allow yourself to feel whatever it may be. This might take several minutes. Don’t hurry, take your time. Anytime you feel uncomfortable, inhale and exhale slowly and deeply. After feeling every emotion, while looking at their eyes, silently say: I Love You. I’m Sorry. Please Forgive Me. Thank You. Repeat this part several times, and be aware of how you feel.
Now visualize their body turns to a brilliant white light. Now we are greeting their souls. You may put your palms in Namaste position on your heart chakra and silently say:
I the soul salute the divinity within you,
I the soul salute the Atma (soul) within you,
We all are children of God,
We all are created by Him,
We all are evolving,
Evolution requires time,
Process, and a lot of mistakes.
I forgive all the mistakes
you have done to me.
I ask forgiveness for all the mistakes.
I have done to you.
The blessings of God be with you.
Go in peace.
Go in peace.
Go in peace.
Keep doing this till you feel less resentment toward the person.
We have to be realistic. We are all souls, we all are evolving, and nobody is perfect. Bless those who have hurt you and break the chain of anger. Let other souls grow and be better.
By Mina Asr (Ph.D.)
Master Choa Kok Sui. (2011). Experiencing Being: The Golden Lotus Sutras on Life.