Updated: Nov 25, 2020
A good relationship always comes from a good self-relationship.
May you have heard about:
As above, so below; as below, so above. As within, so without; as without, so within.
You are correlated with the whole world.
What will happen you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. How will be your relationship with people and with the universe?
A good relationship is not only about feeling love and joy, but also it determines our successes in life.
The importance of having a good relationship we can find in the words of Theodore Roosevelt. According to him:
“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”
Of course, Positive and supportive relationships will help us feel healthier, happier, and more satisfied with our lives and help us be successful. But! Can you have a good relationship with others while you don’t have a good relationship with yourself?
Do you have a Good Self-Relationship?
Good Self-relationship is the fundamental of micro-macro cosmos connection.
Some of us in our daily life are not acting according to our true selves. They are disconnected from themselves. Some people prefer to follow the standards fixed by society, family, or friends; in fact, they are living others’ brains. What separates us from our true selves can be called a
lack of self-acceptance.
1. Self-acceptance is the first step toward a good self-relationship:
Self-acceptance means to be yourself, allowing yourself to be truly seen for who you are. An absence of self-acceptance and self-esteem increases the volume of our negative thoughts. You begin to have inner- conversations with yourself about how you can change to fit in or become more grounded or excellent. The issue with this is, it moves you further away from what you truly need, what you have faith in, and what you esteem throughout everyday life. What’s more, that is the point at which you become stuck, miserable, and doing things you would prefer not to do.
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves” -Dalai Lama.
Lack of self-acceptance is a wrong pattern shaped through life experiences from childhood or in society. To learn to have a good relationship with yourself need a daily practice to change the old pattern and believe in new ones. For this, you need to be brave in bringing recent changes in your life.
Start from now, take a deep breath; building a new version of yourself can be challenging, for it you only need to take a few steps, like Knowing your incredible qualities, skills, and power.
Don’t wait for other people to tell you about your incredible aspects. Most of the time, they remind us more about our problems rather than good things because they believe we are aware of our good qualities.
2. Find yourself:
To explore your true self, take a piece of paper, make three columns on it, write down all the good qualities, your professional/skills, and your abilities, each one separately in one column. Practice this for one week. You deserve to have daily 30 minutes only for you. Put use these 30 minutes to think about yourself and find more. Ask who is near to you:
“What’s so incredible about me?”
In case you’re battling with your “professional” list, It is good to ask from those near you. May sometimes, you are blind to your right parts. When you try to see all the facts about yourself, you will start to accept yourself as you are, rather than changing you as a version that the world accepts.
3. Practice Being Grateful for Your Body:
One of my patients shared with me when he had a near-death experience and his body before. Every morning before he waits for others to say good morning, he starts his day with a warm good morning to himself.
How about you? Do you say good morning to yourself in the morning? Do you spend time in front of the mirror to find good points in yourself?
May it seems funny, but it has a significant impact on our happiness. Sometimes we forget we are responsible for our happiness. It comes from inside of us. Let practice to project love and respect to ourselves every morning. It does matter you are short, tall, fat or skinny, old or young. This is you.
What we are holding inside will reflect outside. You are not your body, but your body is a part of you. So appreciate it and take care of it. Self-acceptance is an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept, and support who you are at this moment.
4. Be kind to yourself:
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” -Gautam Buddha
Most people don’t care about themselves. They are too busy taking care of others. They are more kind to others than themselves. We have some needs that we are the only ones who can provide
them. Be mindful of what you eat, how you rest, and how you treat yourself. All are signs of a good self –relationship. Your body deserves to nurture nicely. The result will be more joy and satisfaction in your life.
5. Be realistic:
Our life is a part of our evolution. Life experiences help you to be wiser and more powerful. Be realistic and kind to yourself don’t be too hard. You are not in this life to be ideal and perfect, as you be good is enough. Evolution has two requirements time and mistakes. Sometimes lessons of
life come through errors; it is human nature, assume you as you are and your past only as a life experience, take its scent and keep on moving don’t let anything stop you from moving forward if Usain Bolt stops walking after a first knee injury in childhood couldn’t be the great sprinter of all the time.
6. Reduce or Absence self-mental or verbal criticism:
Watch your thoughts. How many times per day do you think negatively toward yourself or tell yourself something negative? Do you say these things to your friend? (Never) Be your best friend. Thoughts are real. How you think about yourself, you will be. Your thoughts will be cited in the subconscious part of your system and will lead you toward that. Words have power. When you say something negative about yourself, it will place in the mind of other people. Did you notice, by this approach, you don’t need an external enemy.
Will you be your enemy?
Always be aware of the qualities that make you unique. Accept yourself as you are. Everybody has their life path and destiny, and this makes everybody unique. If we consider the universe a giant puzzle, each of us is a piece of this puzzle with a unique shape and pattern. Self-acceptance is about learning to love and accept the whole of you, stop wasting time worrying about the things you cannot change, and start being grateful for all the fantastic things that you own instead.